A Calculus Christmas Carol my advisor used to sing on the last day of Fall classes.

An XKCD Comic I had hanging at my desk when I was an engineer.

Q: Which of the following is most unlike the others?

(a) An MS in Actuarial Mathematics

(b) An MS in Financial Mathematics

(c) A PhD in Theoretical Mathematics

(d) A large cheese pizza

A: (c), the rest can feed a family of four.

Q: How can you tell the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted mathematician?

A: The introvert will look at his shoes when he talks to you; the extrovert will look at yours.

Q: What's purple and commutes?

A: An abelian grape.

Q: What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?

A: Zorn's Lemon

Q: What's the contour integral around all of Western Europe?

A: Zero. The Poles are in Eastern Europe.